Forgive A Relative


Even these huge rocks change.  We all change.  Everything changes all the time.  We can choose to consciously and mindfully make our changes the best for us.

One amazing change we can make in our lives is forgiveness.  When we have people in our lives that we do not forgive, a part of our heart is not being used for our greatest good.  When we do forgive, we are freed up – our energy is available for more wondrous things.

Let’s start by forgiving a relative.  This can also be a friend or co-worker.  Someone who simply annoys or frustrates us.  We can start with someone who we feel is easier to forgive.  Maybe it is Aunt Jean, who always has to tell you about what you cooked wrong for the family dinner.  Maybe it is a co-worker who always takes the last bottle of water.

To forgive, first we have to accept that something has happened that we did not enjoy.  Someone did or said something that we really did not like.  It happened.  Sometimes it helps to look into why it happened – like, Aunt Jean was raised by critical, judgmental parents and that was how she was taught to communicate.  Or maybe our co-worker is diabetic and needs to drink a lot of water.  However it happened – that part was out of our control.  But there usually is a reason why and sometimes it helps us to consider this.

There are things that happen in life that we have no control over.  That especially applies to the others in our lives.  We cannot control how they act or think or feel.  Letting go of the idea that we can control others is very helpful.  And it can really help us in the forgiveness process.  The only person we can control is ourselves.  We can embrace this.

Then we can choose to let it go.  Let go of the stories about it.  Every time we tell the story about how Aunt Jean acted in a less than loving way, we feel it all over again.  We just keep the annoyance and frustration alive.  It is okay to let it go.  Aunt Jean is going to act how Aunt Jean wants to act.  How we respond is our business.  How we respond can make all the difference for us.

Forgiving does not mean that we condone the behavior we first found offensive.  It just means that we recognize that we cannot control anyone but ourselves.  It means that we know we can let it go and not let the behavior of others destroy our inner peace.  For whatever reasons they have for acting in the ways that they do.

When we forgive others we clear out a lot of headspace.  We can let it go.  We can stop thinking about it.  It frees us up to think about all the loving things we would like to see in our lives.  Forgiveness is a great gift we can give ourselves.


Photo credit: Eliza Evans  Please check out her wonderful Etsy shop here:

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