Sometimes people try to manipulate us on purpose. There are many reasons this happens. The person who is manipulating usually feels that is the only option to get what they want. They believe that manipulating our emotions is the best way for them to get the end result they desire.
Lying is almost always included in manipulation. To control our emotions, the manipulating person will often put a spin on the truth. Manipulation is a power issue. Someone is trying to have power over us, over our emotions.
Honestly, it can make us feel crazy. It’s not a light, joyful feeling to have someone attempting to manipulate us. It’s no fun at all. We can even feel a little out of control.
What can we do?
We cannot change the manipulator. That will not work. Others are going to do what they do, regardless of how we would like for them to act. Let go of trying to change the person.
We can change how we act. We can take a deep breath and NOT engage with the manipulator. We can take a step back. We can take some moments for ourselves. It can be easy to lash out when we feel hurt and used. No, it was not right that happened, but lashing out will only make us feel worse. Even making a simple statement on our own behalf can backfire with a manipulator.
Take a deep breath and get right with you.
Deep breathing until it is no longer super charged. When we feel like we can handle it a little better, we can ask ourselves what we expected from the situation. Respect, kindness, compassion, love? Then we can find a way to give it to ourselves. We can respect ourselves when we don’t lash back. We can be kind to ourselves and remove ourselves from the situation.
We can give ourselves love when we recognize that it doesn’t even have anything to do with us – it’s someone else’s issue. It’s not ours. These were their choices and we cannot change them.
We can give ourselves love when we take our focus off of the manipulation and put it on something productive. We can give ourselves love when we forgive the manipulator and let it go – not for them, but for us. We can give ourselves love by getting back to living our dreams.
Photo credit: Dyan Diamond
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