We may think we know what is best for someone. We may worry about them. We may want only good in their lives so deeply that we feel we HAVE to get them on the “right” track. Sometimes we can act out of desperation – if we are really afraid of the choices they are making in their lives. We try everything to get them to hear us, get them to do things the way we would like to see them done. Even if it means we are harsh, criticizing, judging or manipulative. We think it is for their own good.
People rarely respond to that kind of communication though. It can leave us feeling helpless and hopeless. No matter how hard we try, we cannot make them act any way other than how they choose to act.
What if we changed our method of communication? What if we admitted that the reason we are trying to control them is because we love them. Since that does not usually work (and typically blows up in our faces in the end), let’s try something different.
People listen to compassionate people. We gravitate towards compassionate, kind people. When we are being compassionate, others listen to us. They hear us.
Let’s take a deep breath and come at the people we love with pure compassion. Let’s listen to them, be kind to them, love them enough to speak our piece and let it go. We are all just doing our best.