When Helping Others Goes Wrong

Sometimes when we try to help others, it can backfire.  It’s good to be helpful, but sometimes we can try too hard or put too much of ourselves out there – sacrifice too much.  We go in with a great plan.  We will help to alleviate the suffering of another human being in some way – or help promote a cause we believe in.  Usually they have asked for our help, or implied they need help.  And it’s hard not to help when you are a helper at heart.

Often, this goes great. Our intentions are good, they just need a little help and everyone walks away feeling great. I believe we are here to help each other and many times we can do a little and be a big help.

Helping can go wrong when the people we try to help have bad intentions.  Sometimes people ask for more help than we are able to give. These people often try to manipulate through our emotions. They try to get more and more out of us. Then sometimes they use the help for things we don’t consider good.

Helping can also go wrong when we are helping for the wrong reasons. To get love, to get attention, to get respect, to get something. To be good helpers, we need to be helping for the sake of helping. No strings attached.  It’s important not to sacrifice anything we are not willing to freely give up.

The truth is that any experiences we have, good or not so good, has lessons for us. And if we choose to take the time to learn them, helping can get easier. In the bad experiences, notice the clues. Notice how people act and ask for things. Listen closely. In the good experiences, do the same.  And really examine your own motives for helping. Are you supporting a good cause because you believe in it or are you looking for love in some form?

We can be good helpers for ourselves and others when we pay attention and go in with good intentions. It’s so important to help. Please don’t stop helping after a bad experience. There are great opportunities to help and helping can really make a big difference in the world.

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